Friday, April 15, 2011

Blessed are the Pissmakers


It's not easy being a translated being. I remember I used to think it would be. I prayed and fasted for it, (obviously, as we all should). But when it finally happened... well, there are just certain earthly abilities that you miss.


I mean translated beings are supposed to experience neither pain nor sorrow, right? But it's also true that this life is the time to prepare to meet God, and that whatever state you attained to in this life is how you will be when you enter into the next -- not that I am dead -- I am only translated -- which is better -- I still have my body, you see.


But that also has it's challneges. Because, well... there is just no gentle way to say this:

There is no way to relieve yourself when you become a translated being. This is something the three Nephites never told us.

You are changed in the "twinkling" of an eye -- not a tinkling -- and if you haven't prepared ahead of time, well, too bad. You're stuck. It's my own fault, really. I should have been listening more carefully to the spirit. I did feel like I needed to go right before it happened. But that is another story for another time.

Suffice it to say, it is something I really should have planned for, but now I'm just sort of just stuck in gotta-go limbo. The Lord must be testing me again for greater things. I have just sort of come to expect that by now. But count your blessings, brothers and sisters. You don't know what you have until it's gone.

I just hope it is taken care of in the resurrection.

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