Kobe's Beef

Here in the Bosom of Abraham, I occasionally play with my peepingstones the way one might play with the knobs on a radio reciever. And it works, too, because I occasionally get news of things going on in The World out there that you live in (it is getting so much wickeder!) But my peepingstones also show me versions of futures that could be but yet aren't -- prophetic futures yet to come.

Like today, when I heard that a certain basketball star, decended from father Cain, made a so-called "inappropriate slur" to a ref (leave it to the liberals to strip away our basic rights to free speech. This cost him 100 thousand dollars -- nothing free about that. And he was only making fun of gay people, who -- if they would just choose to repent -- wouldn't need to choose to be offended in the first place -- see what I mean by increasing wickedness in the world?).

Anyway, as I was playing with my peepingstones I saw a vision of what would happen if this basketball star -- instead of calling the ref an insulting -- called him an insulting MORMON! How would that make ME feel as a proud, righteous, translated Mormon living in quite comfortably in the Bosom of Abraham? And as I pondered, the following revelation blazed forth before my eyes, and I wrote:

1. And it came to pass, that Kobimamba in a moment of anger did lift up his voice unto the striped one and didth shout out, "Raca, thou fool! Thou artest an effing Mormon!" And his comments were published throughout all the land.

2. And it came to pass the all the children in the lands to the north, and to the south, and to the east, and to the west did witness the deeds of Kobimamba, and did in unholy mimicry also cry out in their moments of anger, "Raca, though fool! Thou artest an effing Mormon!"

3. And verily thus did it spread throughout the land that "Mormon" became a cuss and a by-word even unto the most very pure in heart. Even unto the land of Zion.

4. And thus did the prophet Boydoni did lift up his voice to the people, and didst deliver unto them the Lord's will that "Mormon" was no longer to be used by the faithful members of the Lord's church, for the true name of the Lord's church was The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

5. And it came to pass that the faithfull heeded unto Boydoni's words, and verily all of the faithful LDS children in the lands to the north, and the lands to the south, and the lands to the east, and the lands to the west did from that day forth cry in their moments of anger, "Raca, thou fool! Thou artest a fetching LDS!"

6. And once ye have recieved these things...

And that's when the revelation went blank. But up to that point the further light and knowledge was brilliant to behold.